Recipes

This Tastes So Good, I Can’t Cry Fudge

This Tastes So Good, I Can’t Cry Fudge

I was recently on a plane with a child who cried like a Gremlin doused in acid, which led me to contemplate the one thing that might actually shut it up: food. But it couldn’t be just any food, such as an animal cracker or smoothie pouch. It needed to be something so sweet, so decadent, that the child would simply have to be quiet and chew. That food was fudge. Frankly, I haven’t met a fudge I didn’t like. There’s something about its smooth texture and headache-inducing richness that I oh-so-constantly crave. And because I associate fudge with beach-town vacations, it makes me doubly happy. This Gremlin child obviously wasn’t going to think of perfecting its tan while eating it, but I can pretty much guarantee that fudge would distract it from popping ears, boredom, crying, and the multitude of other extremely rude behaviors babies feel comfortable displaying on the reg. Otherwise, it’s time to resort to children’s Benadryl or consider adoption programs.
Couverts16 (2-INCH) SQUARES
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Ingredients

Instructions

  • Grease an 8-inch-square baking dish with nonstick spray and line with parchment paper.
  • Spray the parchment paper.
  • In a large microwave-safe bowl, combine the chocolate chips, sweetened condensed milk, and salt.
  • Microwave in 30-second intervals, stirring between each interval, for 3 minutes, until the mixture is well combined and smooth.
  • Add the chopped walnuts, if using, and the vanilla.
  • Pour into the prepared baking dish and smooth the top with an offset spatula.
  • Sprinkle with flaky sea salt and refrigerate until set, about 5 hours or up to overnight.
  • Remove from the refrigerator, cut into squares, and serve.

Notes & Wine Advice

Mix it up by adding different nuts, or different chocolates, or crushed candies, or even a peanut butter swirl.
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Course; Candy

Supersize S’mores with Cookie Butter

Supersize S’mores with Cookie Butter

Let’s be honest: There’s nothing appealing about camping other than coming across as adventurous on social media, potentially seeing a live deer, and s’mores. But if you subject yourself to nature and its frequently horrible elements, you deserve a giant s’more elevated with cookie butter. If anything, it will serve as an excellent distraction from not having Wi-Fi or your favorite pore-clearing face mask. Traveling with someone who doesn’t like cookie butter? Into the campfire they go. And now you’ll have a brand-new ghost story to tell the kids when you’re sitting around and eating your Supersize S’mores with Cookie Butter.
Couverts10
Deel op Facebook Print Recipe

Ingredients

Instructions

  • In a medium bowl, combine the graham cracker crumbs, flour, and salt.
  • In the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with the paddle attachment, beat the butter on medium speed until smooth.
  • Add the sugar and beat until light and fluffy.
  • Add ½ cup of the cookie butter and the vanilla.
  • Add the flour mixture gradually and mix on low speed until the ingredients are fully incorporated, scraping down the sides as necessary.
  • On a lightly floured work surface, turn out the dough and divide it into two pieces.
  • Wrap in plastic wrap and refrigerate for at least 2 hours.
  • Preheat the oven to 350ºF.
  • On a piece of parchment paper cut to fit a baking sheet, roll out one piece of dough to a 14 by 10-inch rectangle, about ¼ inch thick, trimming off the excess.
  • Repeat with the second piece of dough.
  • Cut each rectangle in half crosswise to make two 7 by 10-inch rectangles.
  • Transfer the dough on the parchment to two baking sheets and chill in the fridge for 10 minutes.
  • Bake until golden brown, about 20 minutes.
  • Remove from the oven.
  • Score the cookies into graham crackers by creating the perforated lines for 4 rectangles on each cookie and poking with a skewer to create the small holes.
  • Let cool completely on the baking sheets.
  • Turn the oven to broil.
  • Line a baking sheet with parchment paper and invert one cooled cookie crust onto it.
  • Spread evenly with ½ cup of the cookie butter.
  • Top with 5 chocolate rectangles and place 24 marshmallows on top.
  • Repeat with a second cookie crust and toppings.
  • Broil for 1 to 2 minutes until the marshmallows are golden brown and the chocolate is softened.
  • Transfer to a serving platter.
  • Top each s’more with a second cookie crust and serve.

Notes & Wine Advice

This recipe is great for entertaining. You can assemble your s’mores in advance and then broil them right before you are ready to serve. It’s bound to be a showstopper!
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Course; Butter

Confetti Wedding, Err, Birthday Cake

Confetti Wedding, Err, Birthday Cake

I want a wedding. Wait, let me rephrase that. I want a wedding registry. I also want to get married just so I can customize an over-the-top cake that will surely have edible glitter, gold frosting, and a salted caramel buttercream. Until I get to this point, my birthday cake will have to suffice, and I’m completely content with busting out good ol’ confetti. If vanilla cake with rainbow sprinkles doesn’t induce happiness at its highest level, then I highly suggest a Xanax cake, or gently resting a birthday candle in a stiff martini and calling it a day. There’s just no pleasing you.
Couverts8
Deel op Facebook Print Recipe

Ingredients

FOR THE CONFETTI CAKE

FOR THE BUTTERCREAM FROSTING

Instructions

  • Preheat the oven to 350ºF.
  • Lightly butter two 9-inch round cake pans and line the bottoms with parchment paper, then butter the parchment.
  • In a medium bowl, combine the flour, baking powder, and fine sea salt.
  • In the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with the paddle attachment, beat the butter and granulated sugar until light and fluffy, about 5 minutes.
  • Add the eggs, one at a time, mixing well after each addition.
  • Beat in the vanilla.
  • Add one-third of the flour mixture, followed by half of the buttermilk.
  • Repeat, ending with the flour.
  • Scrape down the sides of the bowl to make sure everything is combined.
  • Fold in the sprinkles by hand.
  • Divide the batter evenly between the prepared cake pans.
  • Firmly tap the pans on the counter to release any air bubbles and smooth the tops with an offset spatula.
  • Bake until the cakes are golden, pulling away from the edges of the pan, and cooked through, 35 to 40 minutes, rotating the pans halfway through.
  • Let cool in the pans on a wire rack for 10 minutes, then turn the cakes out of the pans onto the rack and let cool completely.
  • Discard the parchment.
  • Meanwhile, make the buttercream frosting: In the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with the whisk attachment, beat the butter on high speed until light and fluffy.
  • Reduce the speed to low and gradually add the confectioners’ sugar, beating well after each addition.
  • Add the vanilla and salt and beat to combine.
  • Fold in the sprinkles by hand.
  • Trim the domed tops of the cakes so they are flat and even.
  • Discard scraps.
  • Place one cake on a cake stand and spread an even layer of the buttercream over the top, allowing some overflow down the sides.
  • Top with the remaining cake and repeat.
  • Using an offset spatula or a rubber bench scraper, frost the sides of the cake, leaving some of the cake still visible.
  • Decorate as desired with the remaining frosting and sprinkles.

Notes & Wine Advice

This recipe will make one 9-inch layer cake or 24 cupcakes. For the latter, simply reduce the baking time to 12 to 15 minutes.
Confetti cake is supposed to be fun, so go all out when decorating this cake. The crowd will love it!
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Course; Cake

I’ve Got My Shit Together Strawberry Macarons

I’ve Got My Shit Together Strawberry Macarons

A girl was reading Anna Karenina on the train while holding a box of macarons as I was listening to Nicki Minaj’s “Stupid Hoe” and swiping left repetitively on Tinder. This was a portrait of two people clearly winning at life, but in slightly different ways. Since basic bitches love to compare themselves with others (in an effort to be better), I went home and attempted to make macarons myself. What I found was that they were challenging (thank you, France) and temperamental (thank you, France, again), but after some trial and error, they were the perfect treat that validated the direction of my life ever so slightly. And frankly, once you turn thirty and are still living paycheck to paycheck in NYC, validation is pretty much the only thing you seek and need.
Couverts30 MACARONS
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Ingredients

FOR THE MACARON SHELLS

FOR THE STRAWBERRY FILLING

Instructions

  • First make the macaron shells: In a food processor, combine the confectioners’ sugar, almond flour, fine sea salt, and strawberry powder and process until smooth.
  • Sift through a fine-mesh sieve into a large bowl.
  • If there are any larger pieces that don’t fit through the sieve, discard them.
  • In the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with the whisk attachment, beat the egg whites and cream of tartar on medium speed until light and frothy.
  • Gradually add the superfine sugar and increase the speed.
  • Beat until the egg whites hold shiny, stiff peaks, about 6 minutes.
  • (You should be able to invert the bowl without the egg whites slipping out.
  • ) Add the food coloring and mix gently by hand to combine.
  • Fold the egg whites into the almond flour mixture, making sure not to overmix.
  • Transfer the batter to a pastry bag fitted with a ¼-inch round tip.
  • Pipe 1-inch rounds of batter on the prepared baking sheets, making sure they are an inch apart.
  • (The macaron shells will spread slightly.
  • ) Give each pan a couple of firm taps on the countertop to release air bubbles.
  • Let sit at room temperature for 1 hour.
  • Meanwhile, make the strawberry filling: In the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with the whisk attachment, beat the butter until smooth.
  • Gradually add the confectioners’ sugar and beat until light and fluffy.
  • Add the vanilla and strawberry puree.
  • Beat to combine, then transfer to a piping bag fitted with a ¼-inch round tip.
  • Preheat the oven to 300ºF, with a rack set in the middle.
  • Bake the macaron shells, one pan at a time, on the middle rack, until they are shiny and have risen, about 16 minutes.
  • Remove from the oven and let the pan cool completely on a wire rack.
  • Repeat with the second pan.
  • Pipe the strawberry filling on the flat side of one of the macaron shells.
  • Sandwich the filling layer with another macaron shell, flat-side down, creating your finished macaron.
  • Repeat with the remaining macarons and filling.
  • Place in a single layer in an airtight container and refrigerate overnight.
  • Remove from the fridge and let sit at room temperature for 30 minutes before serving.

Notes & Wine Advice

If you can’t find strawberry powder, buy freeze-dried strawberries and process them in the food processor to a fine powder. You will need only ¼ ounce freeze-dried strawberries to make 2 tablespoons powder.
If you can’t find strawberry puree, simply chop up 3 to 4 fresh strawberries and puree in a blender or food processor until smooth. To remove the seeds, strain the puree through a fine-mesh sieve.
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Course; Coockies / Biscuit / Fruit

Frozen Banana “Ice Cream”

Frozen Banana “Ice Cream”

Couverts3
Deel op Facebook Print Recipe

Ingredients

Instructions

  • Peel the bananas and break into thirds.
  • Place in a freezer bag and freeze for at least 5 hours but preferably overnight.
  • Once frozen, transfer the bananas to a blender with the oat milk and peanut butter powder, if using.
  • Blend on high speed until smooth.
  • If you like the texture of soft-serve ice cream, feel free to enjoy this as is.
  • If you prefer hard-serve ice cream, transfer the banana ice cream to a freezer-safe container and freeze until solid, about 5 hours.
  • Scoop and serve.

Notes & Wine Advice

LITERALLY CAN’T EVEN

Sometimes you’re craving something cold, but just want a healthier alternative to ice cream. This is a great quick recipe to settle that craving. Feel free to experiment with the flavors. You can add cinnamon, nutmeg, coconut, or top with fresh berries.
If your bananas aren’t ripe enough and you’d like your ice cream a little sweeter, add honey a tablespoon at a time until it reaches your desired sweetness.

THE MORE YOU GLOW

Peanut butter powder has 85 percent less fat than regular peanut butter, but is jam-packed with that flavor we love. And it’s high in omega-9 fatty acids.
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Course; Fruit / Ice cream

Bedside Companion Frozen Yogurt

Bedside Companion Frozen Yogurt

I can’t be the only one who has an obsession with sad movies, right? It may be masochistic to sit at home and cry in bed on the weekend, but it’s a good reminder that, yes, I do indeed have a soul and, yes, I do indeed probably need a therapist. It’s also an excuse to nosh on healthy-ish frozen yogurt, which has always been the perfect somber food. There’s something about its icy exterior that pairs well with me trying to prove that I don’t share the same trait. Top it with whatever you like (for me, it’s obviously peanut butter anything) and park your bowl right next to that jumbo box of tissues. It’s going to be a long night.
Deel op Facebook Print Recipe

Ingredients

Instructions

  • Freeze the bowl of your ice cream maker for at least 24 hours.
  • In a large bowl, whisk together the yogurt, sugar, and salt.
  • Chill the yogurt base if necessary (see “Just the Tips”).
  • Pour the yogurt base into the frozen ice cream maker bowl and churn until it reaches the consistency of soft-serve ice cream, about 20 minutes.
  • Scoop into an airtight freezer container and freeze until firm before serving, about 5 hours or overnight.

Notes & Wine Advice

You’ll want to make sure that your yogurt is cold. Once you mix all your ingredients, chill the mixture in the refrigerator until it is about 45ºF.
When ready to serve, allow the frozen yogurt to sit at room temperature for a few minutes so it is easier to scoop.
Running your ice cream scoop under hot water will also help when scooping frozen yogurt.
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Course; Dessert

Antidepressant Red Velvet Cake Pops

Antidepressant Red Velvet Cake Pops

You eat red velvet for the cream cheese frosting and enjoy the fact that the bright slice, in traditional cake form, is many times the size of your face. You don’t eat red velvet to pick apart what it’s actually made from, because I really didn’t know until I made these cake pops for yet another Valentine’s Day alone in bed with carbs and feelings. They say red velvet is a Southern staple, but I happen to think it’s a depression staple, along with vodka and the overwhelming urge to slap people on the NYC subway. As a courtesy to yourself and others, stick with the red velvet cake. It will make you much happier, at least temporarily.
Couverts36 CAKE POPS
Deel op Facebook Print Recipe

Ingredients

FOR THE RED VELVET CAKE

FOR THE CREAM CHEESE FROSTING

Instructions

  • Preheat the oven to 350ºF.
  • Coat two 9-inch cake pans with nonstick spray, line the bottoms with parchment paper, then spray again.
  • First make the red velvet cake: In a large bowl, sift together the flour, salt, baking soda, cocoa powder, and granulated sugar.
  • In the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with the paddle attachment, combine the canola oil, eggs, vanilla, buttermilk, vinegar, and food coloring.
  • With the mixer on low speed, gradually add the dry ingredients to the wet ingredients and mix until they are just combined.
  • Divide the batter evenly between the prepared cake pans and bake for about 35 minutes.
  • Remove from the oven and allow to cool in the pans for 10 minutes before flipping the cakes out onto a wire rack to cool completely.
  • Discard the parchment.
  • Meanwhile, make the cream cheese frosting: In the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with the whisk attachment, combine the cream cheese, butter, and salt.
  • Beat on medium-high speed until light and fluffy.
  • Gradually add the confectioners’ sugar and beat until incorporated, scraping down the sides of the bowl as necessary.
  • Add the vanilla and beat to combine.
  • Remove the bowl from the stand mixer.
  • Line a baking sheet with parchment paper.
  • Trim off the edges of your cakes and use your hands to finely crumble the cake into a large bowl.
  • Add 1 cup of the cream cheese frosting and mix to combine; let sit for 5 minutes.
  • Using an ice cream scoop, portion the cake mixture into 36 balls and place on the prepared baking sheet.
  • Chill in the refrigerator for about 30 minutes.
  • This will help the balls stay together when you roll them.
  • Assemble and coat your cake pops: Fill a medium saucepot with 2 inches of water and heat over medium heat.
  • Set a large heatproof bowl on top and put the Candy Melts in the bowl.
  • Heat, stirring, until they have melted, then add the canola oil until the coating is thinned enough for easy dipping.
  • Stir to combine and turn off the heat.
  • Remove the balls of cake from the refrigerator and roll each tightly into a smooth ball.
  • Dip the lollipop sticks into the coating and, one at a time, insert a lollipop stick into the center of each ball, facing up.
  • Once all of the cake pops have lollipop sticks in them, transfer the baking sheet to the freezer to set, about 10 minutes.
  • Once set, remove from the freezer and allow to sit at room temperature for 5 minutes.
  • (If there is too big a difference in temperature between your coating and the cake pop, it will cause the coating to crack.
  • ) One at a time, dip the cake pops in the coating.
  • In order to keep the cake pop nice and round as the coating sets, you can either place the cake pops in a low-sided glass dish, lollipop stick facing down, or (my preference) stick the lollipop stick into a piece of styrofoam and allow to dry standing upright.
  • Decorate your cake pops as desired; red sprinkles, if used, should be sprinkled over the cake pops before the coating sets.
  • If using a drizzle of melted chocolate, wait for the coating to set and then drizzle with chocolate.
  • Allow to set completely and enjoy!

Notes & Wine Advice

When rolling the cake balls, make sure to really mash together the cake dough. And use a lot of force between your hands to form tight balls. They will fall apart at first, but continue to roll, roll, roll, and they will come together.
If your Candy Melts are too thick, it will be difficult to dip the cake pop into the glaze and it may fall off the lollipop stick. Make sure the coating is thin enough to dip. To be safe, you can use a spoon and pour some of the coating over the cake pop, letting the excess drip into the bowl.
Want a shortcut? You can use a boxed cake mix and/or store-bought frosting to speed up the process. Not quick enough? Doughnut holes make a great cake pop substitute.
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Course; Cake

OMG, the Best Chocolate Chip Cookies Ever!!!

OMG, the Best Chocolate Chip Cookies Ever!!!

Once during my former life as a publicist, an editor replied to an email from me saying, “Enough with the hyperbole!!!” to which my response was: “Get in, loser, that’s my brand.” I didn’t actually send this reply, but I certainly thought about it, because I was truly offended. When I am excited about something, it shows. And sure, I can be a bit overdramatic at times, but not when it comes to my sister Sami’s chocolate chip cookies. They’re worth the over-the-top fanfare. So what’s the secret? Sea salt… because she’s fancy AF and it’s a well-known culinary fact that salt enhances the flavor of practically anything you pair it with, savory or sweet. That even includes the chicken tetrazzini everyone’s crazy aunt insists on bringing to every family potluck. Thank God for salt, and thank God for shameless exclamation marks!!!
Couverts6
Deel op Facebook Print Recipe

Ingredients

Instructions

  • Preheat the oven to 350ºF with a rack placed in the center.
  • Line two baking sheets with parchment paper.
  • In a small bowl, combine the flour, cornstarch, baking soda, and salt.
  • Set aside.
  • In the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with the paddle attachment, combine the margarine, light brown sugar, and granulated sugar.
  • Mix on medium speed until light and fluffy and fully combined.
  • Add the egg and vanilla and mix to combine.
  • Gradually add the flour mixture and mix on low speed until fully combined.
  • Remove the bowl from the stand mixer and, using a rubber spatula, fold in the chocolate chips.
  • Using a ¼-cup scoop, portion the dough into 6 to 8 cookies.
  • Place the cookies on the prepared baking sheets, making sure they are a few inches apart.
  • Bake one sheet at a time on the center rack for about 15 minutes, until the outside is golden but the inside is still soft.
  • Allow to cool on the baking sheet for 10 minutes before transferring to a wire rack to cool completely.
  • Repeat with the second baking sheet.

Notes & Wine Advice

LITERALLY CAN’T EVEN

Ghirardelli’s milk chocolate chips are the only ones I ever use for this recipe. They’re oversized and perfect.
I opted for margarine (I use Blue Bonnet) in this recipe because it has a higher melting point than butter, making the cookies spread less and look more pillowy. If you aren’t a fan of margarine, you can easily use unsalted butter in its place. Just make sure to leave more room between the cookies when baking.
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Course; Chocolate / Coockies / Biscuit

Chicken Parmesan from Joey Skladany

Chicken Parmesan from Joey Skladany

Couverts4
Deel op Facebook Print Recipe

Ingredients

Instructions

  • Preheat the oven to 400ºF.
  • Line a baking sheet with foil.
  • Season the chicken on both sides with salt and pepper.
  • Set up your dredging station: Put the flour in one baking dish and season with salt and pepper; mix to combine.
  • In a second baking dish, whisk together the eggs and water.
  • In a third baking dish, combine the bread crumbs and Parmesan and season with salt and pepper.
  • One at a time, dip the seasoned chicken breasts into the flour to coat, shaking off any excess.
  • Then dip into the egg, followed by the bread crumb mixture.
  • Place temporarily on the prepared baking sheet.
  • Repeat with the remaining chicken breasts.
  • Heat two large oven-safe sauté pans over medium heat.
  • Add ¼ cup of the olive oil to each pan.
  • Add 2 chicken breasts to each pan and cook until golden brown on both sides, about 4 minutes.
  • Top with the pomodoro sauce and sliced mozzarella.
  • Transfer the sauté pans to the oven and bake to finish cooking the chicken and melt the cheese, about 5 minutes, or until the internal temperature of the chicken is 165ºF.
  • Remove from the oven and divide among four plates.
  • Garnish with additional Parmesan and basil.
  • Serve.

Notes & Wine Advice

Chicken Parmesan can be served on a toasted roll as a sandwich or with pasta as a side.
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Course; Cheese / Chicken

Fried Chicken Sandwich

Fried Chicken Sandwich

Couverts4
Deel op Facebook Print Recipe

Ingredients

FOR THE SLAW

Instructions

  • First prepare the fried chicken: In a gallon-size zip-top bag, combine the buttermilk and hot sauce.
  • Season the chicken with salt and pepper and add to the buttermilk.
  • Seal the bag and marinate in the refrigerator for at least 1 hour and up to overnight.
  • Meanwhile, make the slaw: In a medium bowl, combine the napa cabbage, red cabbage, carrots, scallions, mayonnaise, vinegar, and hot sauce and season with salt and pepper.
  • Set aside.
  • Fill a large Dutch oven with 3 inches of vegetable oil and heat the oil to 365ºF.
  • Line a baking sheet with a wire rack.
  • In a large bowl, combine the seasoned salt, garlic powder, cayenne, all-purpose flour, rice flour, cornstarch, and baking powder.
  • Add a few tablespoons of the buttermilk mixture and mix to create clumps.
  • This will help make the chicken extra crispy.
  • Remove the chicken from the buttermilk brine and, one piece at a time, dredge in the flour mixture.
  • Dip back in the buttermilk and then dredge in the flour mixture again, creating a double dredge.
  • Add the chicken to the hot oil and cook until golden brown and the internal temperature reaches 165ºF, 6 to 8 minutes, flipping halfway through.
  • Transfer to the prepared baking sheet and season with kosher salt.
  • Spread the butter evenly on the cut sides of the rolls.
  • Heat a large skillet over medium-high heat and toast the buns until golden, about 1 minute.
  • Transfer to a cutting board.
  • Line the bottom of a bun with a few pickle slices.
  • Add a piece of fried chicken and a large handful of the slaw.
  • Sandwich with the top half of the bun and enjoy.

Notes & Wine Advice

If you have the time, brining the chicken overnight is really the way to go. It will give you the most flavor and cuts down on some of the prep.
The double dredge helps create that crispy crust that makes a piece of fried chicken amazing. Don’t skimp on your dredging!
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Course; Chicken / Sandwich toppings