Recipes

Five-Star Guacamole

Five-Star Guacamole

I’m going to make enemies by saying this, but I never really crave Mexican food (or at least Americanized versions of it). It’s fine, I’ll devour a taco or seven when they’re in front of me, but it’s not my go-to cuisine like Asian, Italian, or deep-fried American. Guacamole, on the other hand, is something I crave on a daily basis and pretty much make on the weekly. When it comes to apps, I give it five stars, like the Uber driver who recently sang Ariana Grande’s “No Tears Left to Cry” with me in not-so-perfect harmony (it’s the thought that counts). This variation, which really highlights the fresh cilantro, also deserves five stars. So swipe right, chica, and start pickin’ it up, pickin’ it up… with a tortilla chip, of course.
Couverts3 cups
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Ingredients

Instructions

  • In a large bowl, mash together the avocados, lemon juice, cumin, and salt to taste, making sure to leave the mixture a little chunky.
  • Fold in the jalapeño, red onion, tomato, and cilantro.
  • Taste and adjust the seasoning.
  • Serve immediately, or cover the bowl with plastic wrap pressed directly against the surface of the guacamole to prevent browning and refrigerate for up to 2 days.

Notes & Wine Advice

JUST THE TIPS
Wondering how to pick the perfect avocado? Gently squeeze the avocado in your hand; a perfect avocado will be firm but yield to some pressure. Unripe avocados will remain hard.
Need to ripen your avocados? Place them in a brown paper bag, add an apple, and close the bag. Apples naturally release ethylene, which speeds up the ripening process by 2 to 3 days.
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Course; Sauce

I’m Like, 75 Percent Italian Bruschetta

I’m Like, 75 Percent Italian Bruschetta

I’m that annoying person who was once corrected by an equally annoying person on how to properly pronounce “bruschetta.” The “ch” sound is more like a “k.” K? And despite the fact that my great-grandmother Vincenza Albanese is probably rolling in her grave over my frequent attempts to speak proper Italian, I wear my heritage like a badge of honor, sans the tragic graphic T-shirts and excess hair spray associated with self-proclaimed guidos. But what makes up for my inability to speak the native tongue? This garlicky bruschetta, of course. Just one bite will have you assuming that I sip caffès, wear head-to-toe Gucci, and hang a poster of Sophia Loren eating rigatoni in my bedroom. Mangia!
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Ingredients

FOR THE TOMATOES

FOR THE WHIPPED RICOTTA

Instructions

  • First make the tomatoes: Preheat the broiler.
  • In a large bowl, combine the tomatoes, shallot, garlic (if using), vinegar, and olive oil.
  • Season with salt and pepper.
  • Set aside for at least 10 minutes and up to 1 hour.
  • Meanwhile, make the whipped ricotta: In a food processor, combine the ricotta, olive oil, salt, and pepper.
  • Process until smooth, 1 to 2 minutes.
  • Taste and adjust the seasonings.
  • Set aside.
  • Spread the baguette slices in an even layer across two baking sheets.
  • Drizzle both sides with olive oil and season with salt.
  • Transfer to the oven to toast for about 1 minute per side.
  • Remove from the oven and rub the garlic cloves over the slices of bread.
  • Let cool.
  • Spread a thin layer of whipped ricotta over the toasted baguette slices and top with the tomato mixture.
  • Garnish with the basil, a drizzle of olive oil, and a little flaky sea salt.
  • Serve immediately.

Notes & Wine Advice

LITERALLY CAN’T EVEN
Mix up your tomato varieties. Use different heirloom tomatoes along with cherry tomatoes for a blend of flavors.
JUST THE TIPS
Bruschetta is a simple dish that has one main rule to follow: Use only the freshest ingredients. Tomatoes are in season in the summer, and you want to use only those tomatoes that are picked at the peak of ripeness.
Garlic is an essential component of this bruschetta. Rub a peeled clove over the freshly toasted slices of bread to extract the flavor. This is what Italians call a fettunta.
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Course; Bread / Tapas
Cuisine; European / Italian

Dangerously Delicious Pita Chips and Millennial Pink Hummus

Dangerously Delicious Pita Chips and Millennial Pink Hummus

There have been a few times when I’ve essentially needed stitches for cutting my lip on a pita chip. When I’m noshing on snacks, I go hard, and since I eat hummus every day of my life (#fact), the possibility of injury increases drastically. This probability is at an all-time high when I pair the hazardous chip with a beautiful pink beet hummus. And not just any pink… millennial pink, the rosé-hued, subdued version of Barbie’s signature Corvette that has graced pedicures, Rent the Runway gowns, and Jeffree Star YouTube videos for years. Now if only our older generation can give us a stable economy and competent politicians, we’ll give you more millennial-inspired foods.
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Ingredients

FOR THE PITA CHIPS

FOR THE TOASTED CHICKPEAS

FOR THE HUMMUS

Instructions

  • First make the pita chips: Preheat the oven to 375ºF.
  • In a large bowl, toss the pita wedges with the olive oil and season with salt.
  • Divide the pita wedges evenly between two baking sheets in a single layer.
  • Bake until crisp, 10 to 12 minutes, rotating the trays halfway through.
  • Remove from the oven and let cool.
  • Raise the oven temperature to 400ºF.
  • Make the toasted chickpeas: In a large bowl, combine the chickpeas, olive oil, and salt and toss to coat evenly.
  • Add to a baking sheet in a single layer.
  • Roast, stirring occasionally, for 35 to 40 minutes, until crispy on the outside.
  • Remove from the oven and toss to coat with the cumin, coriander, and sumac.
  • Set aside.
  • Meanwhile, make the hummus: In a medium saucepot, combine the chickpeas, baking soda, 1 garlic clove, the bay leaf, and water to cover and bring to a boil over high heat.
  • Reduce the heat to medium and boil for 15 to 20 minutes, until the chickpeas begin to break down and their skins loosen.
  • Drain the chickpeas, discarding the garlic and bay leaf.
  • In a blender, combine the lemon juice, remaining garlic clove, beet, and a generous pinch each of salt and pepper.
  • Blend until the garlic and beet are finely chopped.
  • Add the tahini and cumin and blend to combine.
  • Add the chickpeas and blend until smooth.
  • If the mixture becomes too thick, add a few tablespoons of water.
  • With the blender running on low, drizzle in the olive oil.
  • Taste and adjust the seasoning.
  • Transfer to a serving bowl and chill until ready to serve.
  • Garnish with the toasted chickpeas, a drizzle of olive oil, and chopped parsley.
  • Serve with the pita chips.

Notes & Wine Advice

JUST THE TIPS
For the creamiest hummus, make sure you use overcooked chickpeas. You can absolutely start with dried chickpeas and make this from scratch, but canned chickpeas work just fine.
Add a bit of baking soda to raise the pH of the water you boil your chickpeas in. This will help the chickpeas break down, resulting in the perfect product for a creamy hummus.
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Course; Snack

All Hail the Kale (and Other Veggie) Chips

All Hail the Kale (and Other Veggie) Chips

be trusted… ever… even in a game of Monopoly. But what I will tell you is that these and other veggie chips are perfect vessels for salt and seasonings, to distract you from the fact that they’re healthy. And when it comes to the mundanity of everyday life, I’ll take distractions in any form.
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Ingredients

Instructions

  • Preheat the oven to 275ºF.
  • Stem the kale and tear the leaves into bite-size pieces.
  • Toss the kale with the olive oil to coat, massaging the oil into the leaves gently.
  • Sprinkle with za’atar, if using, and season with salt.
  • Spread evenly in a single layer on two baking sheets and transfer to the oven.
  • Bake until crispy, rotating the pans halfway through, 25 to 30 minutes.
  • Remove from the oven and serve.

Notes & Wine Advice

Looking to make other vegetable chips, such as beet or sweet potato chips? Using a mandoline, slice the vegetables very thin. Toss with olive oil, season with salt, and bake in a preheated 375ºF oven for 15 to 20 minutes, until crisp. Remove from the oven and let cool before serving.
BASIC BASICS
While you could buy already chopped kale in a bag, you run the risk of the large, woody stems being included. I prefer to buy a bunch of kale and stem it myself, then breaking up the leaves into bite-size pieces by hand.
Wash and dry your kale completely before roasting. Excess moisture on the kale will result is a less crispy chip.
Massage the oil into your kale. Kale is a sturdy green and can benefit from a quick oil massage to soften it.
Make sure your chips are spread out in an even layer on your baking sheet, not overlapping, for best results.
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Course; Snack
Diets; Vegetarian

Spinach and Artichoke’s High School Reunion Dip

Spinach and Artichoke’s High School Reunion Dip

Oh, the days of high school, when I would order this and assume I was checking off my veggie servings on the food pyramid. Now I don’t have to worry about a food pyramid or what shape my body resembles because I eat this in bed, with Hulu, and judge anyone who believes their Friday night plans at a dive bar or apartment party are better than mine. Because they’re not! The beauty of this dip is that you can use fresh or canned varieties of either vegetable, though you should certainly aim for the former, because every self-help book keeps telling you to “love yourself.” Wow! Riveting! Never heard that one before.
Couverts4 cups
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Ingredients

Instructions

  • Leaving a 2-inch border, cut the center out of the pumpernickel boule, creating a bowl for your dip.
  • Cut the bread from the center into bite-size pieces.
  • Set aside until ready to serve.
  • In a straight-sided large skillet, heat the olive oil and butter over medium-high heat.
  • Add the shallot and sauté until translucent, about 3 minutes.
  • Add the garlic and cook until fragrant, about 30 seconds.
  • Add the spinach a handful at a time, stirring to wilt.
  • Season with salt and black pepper and a pinch of red pepper flakes.
  • Cook until all the excess liquid from the spinach has evaporated, about 4 minutes.
  • Add the artichokes and cook until heated through, about 2 minutes.
  • Reduce the heat to medium-low and add the mozzarella and cream cheese.
  • Stir until the cheeses have melted.
  • Add the sour cream, mayonnaise, and Parmesan.
  • Taste and adjust the seasoning.
  • Transfer to your prepared bread bowl and serve with the bread cubes for dipping.

Notes & Wine Advice

JUST THE TIPS
You can serve this spinach-and-artichoke dip with chips, a bread bowl, crackers, or vegetable crudités, but make sure it remains warm by keeping it in a slow cooker or on the stove.
If you’re pressed for time, feel free to use frozen spinach. Just make sure to defrost the spinach and wring out all the excess liquid
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Course; Sauce

Simply Glorious Avocado Toast

Simply Glorious Avocado Toast

I have a random obsession with gospel music, even though I’m pretty sure I’d burst into flames walking into any place of worship. But when I think of the basic bitch lifestyle, I hear large-framed, sequin-clad angels joining together in glorious sidestep to sing avocado toast’s praises to the Lord Jesus. Can I get an amen on whole-grain toast topped with red pepper flakes and pickled red onions? AMEN! This recipe will turn you into a believer. And if not, it will at least keep you satiated on a Sunday morning when you have very few ingredients in your pantry, are recounting the previous night’s sins, and need something to feel light as an angel (and that isn’t a communion wafer).
Couverts1
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Ingredients

Instructions

  • First make the pickled red onions: Put the red onion in a large glass bowl.
  • Set aside.
  • In a medium stockpot, combine the vinegar, sugar, salt, water, bay leaf, coriander, mustard seeds, peppercorns, and garlic.
  • Bring to a boil and stir until the sugar and salt dissolve.
  • Remove from the heat and pour over the red onion.
  • Let sit until the liquid cools to room temperature.
  • Transfer to an airtight container and refrigerate for at least 2 hours.
  • Mash the avocado slices onto the toast.
  • Drizzle with the lemon juice and season with salt.
  • Top with pickled red onion, micro cilantro, flaky sea salt, and red pepper flakes.
  • Serve.

Notes & Wine Advice

LITERALLY CAN’T EVEN
There are a world of possibilities on how to make your avocado toast, so don’t limit yourself! If you prefer a more guacamole vibe, mash your avocado in a separate bowl with the addition of some lemon juice and salt before spreading it onto your toast. If mashed avocado isn’t your thing, feel free to thinly slice and fan out the avocado. It not only looks pretty but tastes great!
Looking to add more protein to your avocado toast? Add some chickpeas or hummus with your avocado or top it with a fried egg.
JUST THE TIPS
You’ll want to use a perfectly ripe avocado for your toast. If there are any brown spots, cut them out.
Salt and acid are key when making avocado toast. Whether you are mashing the avocado or slicing it, make sure that you are seasoning as you go
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Course; Appetizer

The Joejito

The Joejito

My dad’s cooking reminds me of businessmen in Hugo Boss suits wearing sneakers. But every once in a while he swaps the Keds for a pair of suede Ferragamos and gets it right. Those Ferragamos are his mojito… and it is perfection. I was upper middle class enough to have a lime tree in my backyard growing up in Florida, and my dad picked and juiced its limes consistently. The only problem is that he eyeballs everything he makes, and to get him to create an actual recipe was beyond pulling teeth. It was like pulling rotted gums, the tongue, and that dangling flap of skin in the back of your throat that surely has a scientific name I’ll never remember. But alas, he caved, and this is the recipe I may or may not have blacked out on during multiple family gatherings.
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Ingredients

FOR THE CITRUS-MINT SIMPLE SYRUP

Instructions

  • First make the citrus-mint simple syrup: In a medium saucepan, combine the water and sugar and bring to a boil over high heat.
  • Reduce the heat to maintain a simmer and stir until the sugar has dissolved.
  • Remove from the heat and add the lime rind and mint sprigs.
  • Let cool to room temperature.
  • Transfer to an airtight container and refrigerate until ready to use, up to one month.
  • Slap 6 leaves from the mint sprigs into the palm of your hand to release their flavors.
  • Put them at the bottom of a highball glass.
  • Fill with ice and set aside.
  • In a shaker filled with ice, combine ¼ cup of the citrus-mint simple syrup, the lime rinds, lime juice, lemon juice, and white rum.
  • Shake until chilled.
  • Pour into the prepared glass and garnish with lemon and lime wedges and a mint sprig.
  • Serve.

Notes & Wine Advice

LITERALLY CAN’T EVEN
White rum is traditional, but feel free to experiment with gold or dark.
JUST THE TIPS
Never tear the leaves of your mint sprigs for your mojito; this allows the bitterness from the mint to enter the drink.
Don’t overmuddle your mint leaves; instead, “slap” them in the palm of your hand to release their flavor.
Use a 1-1-2 ratio (lime–simple syrup–rum).
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Course; Alcohol / Cocktails

The Ultimate Mimosa Bar

The Ultimate Mimosa Bar

I know I’m not the only one who makes eye contact with a hot guy on the train and immediately thinks he’s meant to be my boyfriend. After a mimosa-fueled brunch, he’s meant to be my husband. And what’s better than a mimosa? Well, a husband, I guess, but also a mimosa bar. I highly suggest buying more bubbly than you think you’ll need, because you know your drunk-ass friends are going to pour as though they have Jaime Lannister’s gold hand from Game of Thrones. Ultimately this is a cheers to bubbles, because a little fizz just gets us more excited than a sticker sale at Michaels.
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Ingredients

  • 1 750-milliliter bottle prosecco or cava, chilled
  • 1 cup pulp-free orange juice chilled

Instructions

  • Fill 6 to 8 champagne flutes halfway with prosecco.
  • Top off with the orange juice.
  • Serve.

Notes & Wine Advice

LITERALLY CAN’T EVEN
Mimosas are classically made with orange juice, but feel free to put out an array of fruit juices to mix and match: grapefruit, mango, pineapple, pomegranate, cranberry, peach, pear, or any others. Just make sure they’re 100 percent fruit juice.
The classic ratio is two parts champagne to one part juice, but feel free to adjust the ratio to whatever suits your taste buds.
Don’t forget a fresh fruit garnish! Pomegranate seeds, fresh cranberries, pineapple, mango, slices of orange or grapefruit, anything you like.
Looking to make your mimosa extra special? Mix in a splash of elderflower or orange liqueur.
JUST THE TIPS
Always serve your mimosas in a champagne flute, with or without a stem. There’s a reason champagne has its own special glass: it helps preserve the bubbles.
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Course; Cocktails

You Go, Glenn Hot Cocoa

You Go, Glenn Hot Cocoa

There’s nothing I loathe more in life than the months of January to March. What is there to look forward to beyond layering your Burberry scarves for cold weather? Layering, in general, is probably the most annoying action in the entire world, only behind waiting in line at the DMV. Can you imagine having to layer up to wait in line at the DMV? Just throw me into oncoming traffic, please. My idea of winter perfection, however, is lying naked on a bearskin rug in a cabin by the fire, with jazz playing in the background, sipping a hot cocoa with literally no effs to give. And if I’m lucky enough to ever find myself in this setting (the Wall Street husband needs to swipe right on Tinder) and not in the slushy streets of New York, this is the cocoa I’d prefer to be consuming in mass quantities.
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Ingredients

Instructions

  • In a small saucepan over medium heat, combine the milk, coconut sugar, and cocoa powder, whisking to remove any lumps.
  • When the milk is just at a low simmer, add the chocolate and stir until the chocolate melts.
  • Stir in the vanilla, cayenne, cinnamon, and salt and remove from the heat.
  • Pour into a large mug.
  • Garnish with whipped cream, chocolate shavings, and additional cinnamon, along with the cinnamon stick and toasted marshmallows, if desired.
  • Serve immediately.

Notes & Wine Advice

JUST THE TIPS
Your hot chocolate is only as good as the quality of the ingredients you put into it:
Use Dutch-process cocoa powder.
Use high-quality chocolate.
Use whole milk (or, if you are dairy-free, nut/oat milk).
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Course; Chocolate / Hot drinks

Beychella-Body Lemonade Turned Summer Shandy

Beychella-Body Lemonade Turned Summer Shandy

A healthy lemonade can be detoxifying, and the best way to mess all of that up is to put it in some beer and create a shandy. If you’re “being good,” here is a great lemonade recipe that I think even Beyoncé could get behind. And since it’s an inarguable fact that we should all aspire to be Queen Bey, that’s all the justification I need. But yes, the diet-ruining beer part. We basics are typically fine with any light variety that’s easy on calories but heavy on “I’m a fun girl!” vibes. And exes say we’re difficult to please? Tell ’em, “Boy, bye.”
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Ingredients

Instructions

  • In a large pitcher, combine the cold water, lemon juice, stevia, and lemon slices.
  • Mix to combine.
  • Transfer to the refrigerator to chill until ready to serve.
  • Serve over ice, garnished with a lemon slice.

Notes & Wine Advice

LITERALLY CAN’T EVEN
If you need a little something more with your lemonade that’s equally refreshing, try making a shandy! Use equal parts your favorite light beer and lemonade, and garnish with a slice of lemon.
Craving something spicy? Add a splash of fresh ginger juice.
JUST THE TIPS
Making your own lemonade allows you to control the amount of sugar going into your drink.
Want to make sure your lemonade doesn’t get watered down? Double the recipe and freeze half in ice cube trays. When you’re ready to serve, use the frozen lemonade cubes instead of ice.
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Course; Cold Drinks