Recipes

You’re So Vanilla Milkshake

You’re So Vanilla Milkshake

You may not be bringing all the boys to the yard, but you’ll certainly be bringing them to your kitchen with this easily customizable take on an American classic. Since nut milks from literally every type of nut are all the rage, there’s also a world of healthy possibilities and more combinations than Cher’s closet in Clueless. You probably won’t be wearing an Alaïa anytime soon, but after occasionally subbing nut milk for dairy, you’ll at least be able to fit in one and avoid being a virgin who can’t drive.
Couverts1
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Ingredients

Instructions

  • Place a pint glass in the freezer to chill.
  • In a blender, combine the ice cream, vanilla bean paste, and milk.
  • Blend on high until smooth.
  • Pour into the chilled pint glass and top with whipped cream and a cherry.
  • Serve with a straw.

Notes & Wine Advice

LITERALLY CAN’T EVEN
The perfect milkshake is very personal. If you like your milkshake thicker, cut back on the liquid; if you like it thinner, feel free to add a bit more.
Not into ice cream? Substitute frozen yogurt.
Going dairy-free? Use dairy-free vanilla ice cream and any dairy-free milk and omit the whipped cream.
Interested in making a grown-up milkshake? Add a splash of your favorite booze!
JUST THE TIPS
Always chill the glass your milkshake is going into.
Make sure your ice cream is soft but not runny. If the ice cream is too hard, you will add too much milk, diluting the milkshake.
Don’t use ice in your milkshake—it will only water down the finished product!
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Course; Milkshake

Matcha Cocktail

Matcha Cocktail

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Ingredients

FOR THE BASIL SIMPLE SYRUP

Instructions

  • First make the basil simple syrup: In a small saucepot, combine the water and sugar and bring to a boil.
  • Stir until the sugar dissolves and then remove from the heat.
  • Add the basil and let cool to room temperature.
  • Remove the basil and transfer the simple syrup to an airtight container.
  • Store in the fridge for up to 2 weeks.
  • In a cocktail shaker filled with ice, combine the gin, lemon juice, matcha powder, and 2 tablespoons of the basil simple syrup.
  • Shake vigorously for 1 minute, until well chilled.
  • Strain into a glass filled with ice and top with club soda.
  • Garnish with a cucumber ribbon and basil sprig and serve.
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Course; Cocktails / Salad

Matcha Latta, Ya Ya

Matcha Latta, Ya Ya

The only bags I want anywhere near my eyes are Chanel, and because I don’t typically drink coffee, matcha is my go-to for a quick caffeine fix. There’s something about the electric-green tea that gives you a healthy zing and not the standing-in-line-for-a-Celine-Dion-concert jitters I get with coffee. It’s also jam-packed with antioxidants and delicious without added sugars or sucralose. “So why don’t you marry it?”—stereotypical bully on the playground. At this rate, anything is possible, including a matcha cocktail that I threw in for the girl who means business but is all about the party.
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Ingredients

  • ¼ cup hot not boiling water
  • 1 teaspoon matcha powder
  • 1 cup oat milk
  • 5 drops liquid stevia
  • ¼ teaspoon ground cinnamon
  • 2 scoops collagen peptides

Instructions

  • Combine the hot water and matcha powder in a mug and let sit for 1 to 2 minutes, whisking to break up any clumps of matcha.
  • If you do not have a matcha whisk, a regular small whisk will do just fine.
  • In a small saucepan, combine the oat milk, matcha mixture, stevia, and cinnamon.
  • Cook over medium heat, whisking constantly, until small bubbles appear.
  • Remove from the heat and transfer to a blender.
  • Add the collagen.
  • Blend on high until foam appears.
  • Pour the matcha latte into a mug and serve.

Notes & Wine Advice

THE MORE YOU GLOW

Matcha: Contains the nutrients from the entire tea leaf, making it higher in caffeine and antioxidants than traditional green tea. Boosts metabolism and burns calories. Contains vitamin C, selenium, chromium, zinc, and magnesium.
Collagen peptides: Helps improve hair, skin, nails, joints and ligaments, and tendon health. Packs 18 grams of protein in 2 scoops—and only 70 calories! Free of gluten, dairy, and sugar.
Stevia: A very sweet plant, part of the sunflower family, used to sweeten beverages and meals. Can be classified as “zero-calorie.” It is two hundred to three hundred times sweeter than table sugar.
Oat milk: Good nondairy alternative for people with allergies or intolerances. It’s free of lactose, nuts, soy, and gluten. Vegan-friendly.

LITERALLY CAN’T EVEN

Adjust the sweetness based on your preference. You can substitute agave nectar, maple syrup, coconut sugar, honey, raw sugar, or any other sweetener.
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Course; Hot drinks

Pinot Grigi-OMG Yes, Sangria

Pinot Grigi-OMG Yes, Sangria

There have been plenty of times when I have forgotten to bring my lunch to work but remembered to bring a bottle of wine for after-work happy hour. As I see it, this doesn’t mean I’m irresponsible, just someone who truly understands life’s priorities. If that day happens to be in the summer, the bottle is usually pinot grigio or Sancerre. And since I carry these bottles by the dozen, an ideal way to zhuzh ’em up is to transform this sometimes mediocre white wine into a refreshing golden sangria. The key to this recipe is customization. Whether it’s berries, stone fruits, or a citrusy Grand Marnier, you get to call the shots (literally) and create a sipper that is reflective of both your unique tastes and your unique personality.
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Ingredients

  • 2 ounces apple brandy
  • 1 lime sliced
  • 1 lemon sliced
  • 1 green apple cored and sliced
  • 1 cup strawberries sliced
  • 3 tablespoons sugar
  • 1 750-milliliter bottle pinot grigio
  • 8 ounces club soda
  • Mint for garnish

Instructions

  • In a large pitcher, combine the apple brandy, lime, lemon, green apple, strawberries, and sugar, mashing gently to release the juices from the fruit.
  • Pour the pinot grigio over the fruit and stir to combine.
  • Cover and transfer to the refrigerator to chill for at least 3 hours or up to overnight.
  • Remove from the refrigerator, pour into glasses, and top with club soda.
  • Garnish with mint and serve.

Notes & Wine Advice

LITERALLY CAN’T EVEN

Wine and fruit juices are great, but we’re looking for a bit more pizzazz with this cocktail. Spike it with some high-proof spirits—for example, Grand Marnier, Cointreau, triple sec, brandy, and the like.
Bubbles are a fabulous addition to keep this drink light for the summertime.

JUST THE TIPS

Now is not the time to break out the $60 bottle of pinot grigio. Use inexpensive wine when making a mixed cocktail, but not cheap wine. It should still be a wine you’d love to drink on its own.
Don’t just cut up the fruits. Make sure to mash them to release the juices into the sangria.
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Course; Alcohol / Cold Drinks
Cuisine; European / Spain

Orange Cream Gelatin Shots

Orange Cream Gelatin Shots

Couverts16 (1-OUNCE) SHOTS
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Ingredients

Instructions

  • In a 2-cup measuring cup, combine the vodka, orange liqueur, orange juice, and cold water.
  • Set in the fridge to chill while you prepare the remaining ingredients.
  • Put the gelatin in a medium bowl.
  • Pour the boiling water over the gelatin and stir until it is completely dissolved, about 2 minutes.
  • Stir in the chilled vodka mixture until combined.
  • Pour into shot glasses and refrigerate until set, at least 2 hours or up to overnight.
  • Serve chilled, topped with whipped cream, if desired.

Notes & Wine Advice

LITERALLY CAN’T EVEN

Switch up the flavor of the gelatin and juices to make all kinds of different combinations. Just make sure that you stick to the basic ratios so the gelatin sets: 1 cup boiling water, 1 (3-ounce) package gelatin, 5 to 6 ounces liquor, and ¼ cup cold water.
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Course; Alcohol / Cocktails

Dirty Martini

Dirty Martini

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Equipment

  • cocktail shake

Ingredients

  • Ice cubes
  • 2½ ounces vodka chilled
  • ¼ ounce dry vermouth
  • ½ ounce olive juice from a jar of olives, or to taste
  • Pimiento-stuffed green olives for garnish

Instructions

  • Chill a martini glass.
  • Fill a cocktail shaker with ice, add the vodka, vermouth, and olive juice, and stir.
  • Strain into the chilled martini glass.
  • Garnish with olives and serve.
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Course; Alcohol / Cocktails

Vodka Soda

Vodka Soda

“The Little Black Dress of Cocktails”
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Ingredients

Instructions

  • Fill a glass with ice and pour the vodka over the top.
  • Top with a squeeze of lime juice and the club soda.
  • Garnish with a lime wedge and serve.
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Course; Cocktails

Shantay, You Frosé

Shantay, You Frosé

Frosé on a summer day is more satisfying than a childhood bully growing up to be ugly. Normal liquid rosé is already a fabulous complement to brunch foods and petty conversation, but we basics like it frozen, not unlike our foreheads after a semiannual tune-up with injectables. This is why frosé is basicness at its peak. It’s refreshing, it’s pink, it’s sweet, it gets you drunk, it’s Insta-ready, and it’s surprisingly easy to make on your own. Just use the entire bottle and invite some friends over to lip-synch for their lives. I judge anyone who needs to invest in a wine stopper.
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Ingredients

FOR THE SIMPLE SYRUP

Instructions

  • First make the simple syrup: In a small pot, combine the water and sugar and bring to a boil.
  • Stir until the sugar dissolves; remove from the heat.
  • Let cool to room temperature, transfer to an airtight container, and refrigerate for up to 2 weeks.
  • Pour the rosé into a zip-top bag.
  • Seal the bag and lay it flat in a baking dish.
  • Freeze for a minimum of 5 hours.
  • In a blender, combine the frozen rosé, strawberries, lemon juice, and ¼ cup of the simple syrup.
  • Blend until a slushy consistency is reached.
  • Pour into glasses and serve, garnished with mint and a tropical drink umbrella.
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Course; Cold Drinks

Give Me Angelina Jolie’s Collarbones Detox Smoothie

Give Me Angelina Jolie’s Collarbones Detox Smoothie

A bitter-tasting smoothie is more annoying than someone who puts an apostrophe when trying (and failing) to make a word plural. Trendy ingredients such as moringa, spirulina, and ginkgo biloba are hard to say and even harder to mask in a postworkout bev. They don’t taste good on their own and, when combined, can emit smells that rival my third-grade teacher’s halitosis. Until now. Somehow, I’ve managed to concoct a blend that doesn’t smell like a subway platform as you sip. And it’s chock-full of all the vitamins, nutrients, and minerals that dietitians say are good for you. You’re welcome, health freaks.
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Equipment

  • blender

Ingredients

Instructions

  • In a blender, combine the coconut water, carrot juice, banana, pineapple, spinach, beet, lemon juice, turmeric, ginger, moringa powder, cayenne, and ice.
  • Blend on high until smooth and thick.
  • Divide between two glasses and serve immediately.
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Course; Smoothies

Basic Bitch Lifeblood, aka the Pumpkin Spice Latte

Basic Bitch Lifeblood, aka the Pumpkin Spice Latte

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Equipment

  • On a scale of one to “I want to punch you in the face,” I’m practically a broken jaw when it comes to how annoying I am about the arrival of fall. And nothing screams “fall” more than a pumpkin spice latte, despite the fact that its annual debut happens before we even have the chance to wipe off the sunscreen and dust off our old Uggs. Sure, that smirking green siren may make a decent one (she’s trademarked the term “PSL,” after all), but this homemade alternative with actual pumpkin puree will knock your hygge-friendly wool socks off. In fact, if you make it and aren’t 100 percent satisfied, then you’re definitely not the type to know where your locally sourced kale comes from, and I simply can’t relate.

Ingredients

FOR THE PUMPKIN SPICE BLEND

FOR THE SWEETENED WHIPPED CREAM

FOR THE LATTES

Instructions

  • First make the pumpkin spice blend: In a medium bowl, whisk the cinnamon, ginger, nutmeg, allspice, and cloves until combined.
  • Transfer to an airtight container and set aside.
  • Next make the sweetened whipped cream: In a large bowl, whisk the cream, confectioners’ sugar, and vanilla until the cream holds soft peaks.
  • Keep chilled until ready to use.
  • Make the lattes: In a small saucepan over medium heat, combine the pumpkin puree, ½ teaspoon of the pumpkin spice blend, and granulated sugar.
  • Cook, stirring constantly, until heated through, about 2 minutes.
  • Whisk in the vanilla and milk until fully combined and hot.
  • Remove from the heat and transfer to a blender.
  • Blend until frothed, 1 to 2 minutes.
  • Divide the espresso between two coffee mugs and add the frothed pumpkin mixture.
  • If desired, top with a dollop of sweetened whipped cream and garnish with a sprinkle of additional pumpkin spice blend.
  • Serve immediately.
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Course; Hot drinks